We had just left our Sunday morning worship service. The Word was amazing and stirring. The worship, supernatural, and I could feel our Lord smiling down on us as we praised his Name.
But I had stayed up too late knitting with the silliest of movies. One I felt ashamed for having stayed up too late to watch and then I had woken up dashing to feed and dress everyone before we were late for church.
I left home without my rest and without my armor. Ready to wing my day.
So no wonder when the fighting in the back started, I responded with a tyrranical wrath. Yes, I exasperated my children and my husband and myself, just as Miss Mason says yelling will do.
My words erupted out of me so suddenly and so unexpectedly, like a branch hitting our car in a windstorm.
Only it wasn't just a branch but the whole tree exposing a deadness inside. My sin. My lack of self-control.
I thought outbursts like these were a part of the past. I thought I had worked hard to impregnate my words with gentleness and with intention. Yes, a habit I had been working on since fighting children isn't something this harmony-seeking Mama can tolerate too well.
And the worst part, I think, is the futility of it all. The squabbling had continued without a moment of peace.
But just when I had thought I had ruined the day for everyone, we got out of the car, and I was welcomed with smiles and hugs. Forgiveness for my hurting soul. There was no condemnation, not in my children nor in Christ. It had come only from myself.
No, no condemnation. But only a hope for the habit of enduring gentleness.
And a certified promise that when we take time to fully Rest in Him moment by moment, when we put on the full armor of God daily and when we pray for consistency, watchfulness, tact and gentleness at all times, He is there to equip us for Everyday Gentle Parenting.